Wedding Day Advice from a BDLB Groom

by: Tyler Schwartz


“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once and awhile you could miss it.”

– Ferris Bueller

Substitute “life” for “weddings” and Mr. Bueller’s quote rings even more true. Weddings are beautiful, spiritual, and joyous, however they’re also emotionally overwhelming, physically taxing, and psychologically exhausting. With such a strict schedule and so many different plates spinning in the air at the same time, couples often feel a sense of whiplash by the end of their big day. Ask a Bride or Groom right after their wedding what their favorite moments were, and you’ll most likely get two blank faces unable to articulate specific details from the day, almost like they’re trapped inside a “wedding fog”. That’s because no matter what, your wedding day is going to be a blur. It’s a fact of life. So many friends, relatives, and strangers. So many hellos, goodbyes, questions and answers. Yet inside of this blur are genuine miracle moments, eternal life memories that you’ll never want to forget. So while a little “wedding fog” is to be expected, here are my humble suggestions for truly soaking in all of your special day.


  • Remember to Breathe. Little known fact: asphyxiation is the 2nd leading cause of death in men and women on their wedding day. The first, you ask? frostbitten feet.

  • Stop and Smell Your Roses. What does your wedding day smell like? The flowers? The candles? Your great-aunt’s perfume? Use your freshly wedded nostrils and take it all in. These are the aromas of your life, the scents of your past, the redolent of your present, and the fragrance of your future.

  • The Little Things Matter. The minute details of your wedding are the things that make your day unique. You’ve made so many tiny decisions throughout the process that sometimes it’s hard to keep track of it all. Don’t forget to take a moment and appreciate all the little pieces of beauty the two of you have created. The Table Settings. The Food. The Cake. The Decorations. All of these choices have lead to this picture-perfect tableau. Like any classic piece of artwork, enjoy it from afar, but make sure to get a close up and appreciate the fine strokes that create the greater whole.

  • A Moment of Prayer. This is one out of my own personal playbook. From the time we played sports as little kids, I’ve always been the pre-game motivational speaker in my group of friends. My own wedding day was no different. Right before we went to lineup for the processional, my groomsmen, father, and soon-to-be father-in-law, all kneeled down, huddled together, and I led us in a brief but emotional pump-up speech. However, this speech was unlike others I had given in the past. In fact this speech didn’t feel like a speech at all, it felt like a prayer. While speaking, it dawned on me that I was surrounded by all the men in my life I love most. The men who have helped mold me into the man I am today. My prayer became a sermon, a way for me to thank them for their support on this day, and furthermore, a way for all of us to thank the universe for launching such a cast of disparate souls into each other’s orbits. Their wasn’t a dry eye in that circle by the time we were done. It’s a memory I’ll cherish forever, a moment of spiritual serenity in an otherwise chaotic day. On our honeymoon, my wife and I finally debriefed our wedding day experiences. When I told her about this moment she started to cry. It was partially a happy cry because she was glad her dad had that experience. But it was also a sad cry because she immediately regretted not having a similar moment before the ceremony with her family and bridesmaids. They were too caught up in getting ready that they simply ran out of time. So heed this advice, no matter how busy your prep time, no matter how far behind schedule you’re running, take the time to kneel down with your loved ones and send a blessing of love and gratitude into the universe. Whether you’re religious or not, I promise that the sense of peace and harmony you’ll feel after is the perfect remedy to any pre-ceremony jitters. So acknowledge the love surrounding you, and with that feeling, let the universe launch you together into forever.